Thursday, July 5, 2018

Why Are People So Unkind?

Because they are (often) insecure. Because they are angry. It makes them feel bigger/better when they put someone down.

Well, more fool them. So you can stomp all over the poor depressed/fat/skinny/short/tall/overly cheerful/freckly/gay/straight/pansexual/whatever person you have made your target. Bully for you!

But guess what? You are no better than them. In fact, you are less. Because you felt the need to hurt someone else. Just because you felt like shit, you wanted to bring someone else down to your mud-hole, so you had someone to use to boost you out of it, with minimal actual effort on your part. Because you are emotionally lazy. And aren't you just the hero?!

Bullies are everywhere - online, in our workplaces, our doctor's surgeries (I shit you not), our homes, our social lives. And we let them use us to boost their egos, because we give their words power.

It's time for us all to stop letting these maroons tell us how we should think, feel and act. Am I perfect? Hell no! But neither is anyone else. And I will not be letting these fools keep me down any longer - I will just walk away, and if that's not an option, I'll tune out. Then I'll walk away. Because sometimes, usually when it's a family member (they hurt us the most, because they do it 'out of love'), to keep WWIII from happening, you have to stand there.

No longer are people going to get me down with their nastiness and bullshit. Or if they do, it won't be for long. Because it is their issue, not mine. And I just can't be fucked with it any more.

Friday, June 15, 2018

Still a Fan of Sunsets, But...

...since we've been in the hot parts of the country (Qld & SA), I've gotten acquainted with sunrises.  Getting up around 5 - 5.30 is essential in summer with dogs; it's too hot to move after about 7. Plus, I can't see the sunset properly here as a rule - too many tall trees 😀 Same problem in SA...

Sunrise in SW Qld...

Last time we were in Qld, we were at the very edge of red dirt country; now we're in the middle of it, and it's - interesting.

 Out in the Outback...

Think powder-fine sand, but red. It's pretty, but it gets in everywhere. Especially now - 6 years of drought.

It can be pretty though...

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Roaming in the Gloaming - Finally!!

Finally! I've been away for ages, but I had good reason! I was finding my way out of the dark.  And, while I am still, as the title suggests, roaming in the gloaming, I am no longer completely in the dark.

My last post was over 12 months ago, in south central Qld. Well, we finished there, moved to SA (north Adelaide) to work for the same bloke, collected another dog (Siberian husky boy), and are now back in southwest Qld, on a cattle station.

2 hours from a town, 45 minutes from the neighbours - Heaven!

What else has happened? Lots. Let's start with the good:
  • Our son brought our (now 9 year old) grandson to see us in SA for Christmas;
  • Our adopted daughter had a baby boy (last month);
  • Our middle son got engaged.
I am up in time to see this every day....

The not-so-good-and-downright-shite:
  • My oldest friend died of liver cancer in September;
  • My second-oldest friend's 14 y/o daughter drowned a week before Christmas;
  • Another dear friend has aggressive brain tumours - we are waiting to hear the latest;
  • Still no contact with our youngest;
  • Hubby had heart surgery for his arrythmia - it didn't work, in fact, he is worse.
We went to high school together. I miss her.

In other news:
  • We are going back to Tassie in October;
  • Sunshine Coast in July;
  • I've started a new, beauty-related blog, just for fun;
  • Hubby has started a dog training group on FB; his aim is to help people (it's the husky's fault);
  • We love where we live right now;
  • The dogs are a constant joy;
 My world begins & ends right here

And..............I found an HRT that works: this, more than anything, is what got me into the gloaming. Balanced hormones. I'm not 'right', I will probably always have depression and anxiety, but I am better to a degree. And I'll take that.

I plan to post more here, now I can access it again (Google locked me out - my fault). The beauty block is for fun, this is for my mental health. Or what passes for it.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Long time no post...........

I have no real excuse.  Life has been busy the past 11 months, but still, how long does it take to write a blog post?

In the past 11 months, we have moved 3 times; all within Queensland.  Not a lot for us.  However, two of those moves saw our free time vanish; one was a volunteer position which just kept demanding more and more (we lasted a month), the other we are still at, a paid job.  This one we thought we'd have more time at, but due to circumstances beyond the control of ourselves and our employer, that was not to be.  And that's fine, we don't hate the work, and we like our boss.  He can be a bit painful sometimes, but he is a good bloke, and for us, that is what counts.

However, we have met some great people, seen some pretty amazing things, and all in all, we are moving forward.

We also bought a new car (single cab ute) about which I am super-excited.  I love it.  While I am still not a huge fan of driving, I don't shake every time I go to get in the car to drive; only every other time.

The battle with the darkness continues, although the other day I did make what I am going to term a breakthrough - I finally admitted out loud what I am scared of.  Now it is out there, I can hopefully get past it.

And I am an aunty: my baby brother and his lady have blessed me with a nephew!

Soon it will be time to move on again, work is ending.  Who knows where we will end up?

I've also jumped on Katy-Rose's 'Word for the Year' bandwagon.  My word is 'patience'.  Patience with myself, and with others.  It's tough, but I am working on it.  My Not-New-Year's-Resolution is to stop crossing my legs - that is really tough, but I am doing OK.  I have been good up til now, I find that since uni started back up, I catch myself more often.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Today my baby turns 21........

........ and we haven't spoken in 3 years.  Which is awful beyond words.

I have a phone number, which I send text messages to, and call from time to time (he doesn't answer either).

His Facebook account has been deleted: I don't know his physical address.

Part of me dies on the 12th of May each year, because I know that every day we don't talk, something precious is lost.  And that one day, he will realise that, and have to live with the regret.  That knowledge, more than anything, hurts.

But still, in spite of all the pain that I feel, and all the anger (some I agree with, some I do not, although I understand an awful lot of it) he feels, I will keep trying, even though it would be easier emotionally for me to seal up that door in my heart.

Because, no matter what, he is my son, and I love him.  So, happy birthday Mr Man.  I love you.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

A Bit if a Thing for Thongs (Flip Flops)

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would ever wear, let alone want, many pairs of rubber shoes.  Until recently, the last time I wore these kinds of shoe was when I was pregnant with Dr. Boris - 26 years ago.  They were the only things I could get that would fit my horribly swollen feet in 1980's Tasmania.  And then, when he was born, a funny thing happened - I couldn't wear them any more - my legs would a ache and cramp after 5 minutes.  This is one of the many changes he caused: I still cannot look at lamb chops or 2 minute noodles without feeling ill.........

Cue years of melting feet and envious stares at the tootsies of those who could wear these icons of Aussie summers.  I cursed, swore and on occasion, broke down and spent the money, only to end up in agony for days after a few minutes wear.

Then we moved to Queensland, and pain or no, I had to have some - the summer heat was too much for my poor feet to deal with in 'proper' shoes.  So I bit the bullet, and bought some massagey ones.  Purple with fabric straps.  And, for a while, they were ok.  I couldn't walk miles, but I could run errands.  Score!

Then, about 3 months  in, the problems started; 5 minutes in them, days of agony.  In the middle of summer.  Not content to go back to squishing my feet into full-on footwear, I bought a pair of all-rubber ones - what did I have to lose?  Against what potential gains?

Answer: a few $ opposed to months of aching feet.  Oh, and skin.  The all-rubber, flat ones worked a treat for aching feet and screaming legs, but the 'arms' on some can rub the skin.  Easy fixed with a bandaid; not a fabulous look, but I was beyond caring, comfort over looks was the focus.  Problems solved all around, I was a happy camper.  Then my first pair broke, and I had to go get another.

That was it, I walked out with 3 pairs (different colours/patterns) and a hankering for at least 1 of every colour/pattern in the place; the picture above is just a taste of what I could choose from.  The idea of a mountain of thongs filled me with joy.  So I went back the next week, and got another 2 pairs.  I have since avoided further sprees, although I have killed 2 of the 5 pairs I acquired. Restraint, I has it.

I am dreading the winter months.  I can't really wear thongs in winter.  I know people do, but I can't.  My poor feet won't allow it.  On the upside, this means that I can buy lots of pretty flats (I am banned from heels forever), and maybe pick up a few more pairs of thongs on the cheap, ready for next year.  Or a lot of pairs, for all the future summers I plan to wear them........

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Seeing Beauty in the Everyday Things

Katy Rose over at Modly Chic has a series on beauty running this year.  She writes about the beauty in the various aspects of life, and I have to say, her posts make me think.

While I am not one for resolutions, I am making the effort this year, and from hereon out, to appreciate the beauty I see every day.  I think we all get so busy with the day-to-day drudge and rush, we forget to stop and smell the roses, as it were.

So, here are some of the things I have seen as I go about my daily business that have struck me as beautiful.  A grevillea, magpies playing on the dog's cool mats outside our door, and a Mary Valley sunset.