The Notebook helped. Although I think a large part of it was that Mr14 and I had a bit chat beforehand. He and I fight hard (and nasty) when we fight, and we had a bit of a barney yesterday; we hadn't patched it to that point - when he saw me setting up to Notebook, he realised that I was in a bad place, and made the first move. As infuriating as that child can be, he can be so sweet.
T and I are still wrangling, and it's likely to continue. Miss24 has 2 children from a previous relationship - 1 is quiet and well-behaved, the other is a rude brat. I will not tolerate rudeness (of the deliberate variety) in my house, so I step on her. If it's to me, straight away. To her mother, she gets away with it a bit more, but if it goes too long, I go crunch. He thinks I should leave it when she's not doing it to me, but I apply the theory that this is MY house, and MY rules apply to everyone. My friend's children don't get away with it, and neither will anyone else's. Them's the rules. So yeah, I think we will be debating that for a bit yet, at least until she gets over it - she is getting better with it - tends to only do it when she is tired now, as opposed to every time she opens her mouth like she used to.
I also think that at some stage in the future there will be a massive wrangle over me avoiding The Mister's younger sister. We had a bit of a falling out 5 or 6 years ago - I knew what it was about, and never told him about any of it. He knew we had a difference of opinion; obviously she mentioned it. No biggie, I wasn't phased a whole lot - although I thought it a bit petty.
So, yesterday, he called me overbearing, told me I need to remember my manners when we are o/s, as we will be living in other's houses, and brought this up. Now, I was shocked - we (Sis and I) had a difference of opinion, yes, but it had nothing to do with household stuff or manners. She was already embarrassed because Daughter #1 (16 at the time) had already had a go at her about behaving differently because I was there. Then she asked me about Government payments for children; she asked what we had done with our elder ones; I told her, and her older 2 started yelling and swearing at her. Asks me what I would do if they were mine - mine wouldn't dare. Bad move. She's pissed.
So, later on, some of the girls friends come around. Daughter #2 (12 at the time) goes to see some of them off at the driveway, and then leaves. At midnight we pack up Daughter #3, who is maybe 5, and go roaming around the streets looking for Daughters #1 & 2 - 1 went off to find 2, and now both are AWOL. We walk, in the middle of winter, in a very nasty neighbourhood. When I suggest I take Daughter #3 home, as this can't be good for her (and I am tired) I cop a big serve about how I think I am perfect. Since then realations are strained.
Anyway, he tells me that I was in the wrong with her, and I demand to know wtf he is talking about, I did nothing wrong, she asked my opinion, and got it. Nothing more, nothing less. Turns out she told him I was closing windows and doors all the time that she wanted open. Uh huh, I closed the front window when we left, it was wide open on a freezing night, she'd already yelled at the girls about it. And I closed the door of the bedroom I was sharing with Daughter #3, as the light from the hall was irritating me, and she was OK with it. Soooooooo terrible!
Don't get me wrong, I do do things that he finds wrong - at my friend L's, I fold the laundry, make the coffees etc. But that's the type of friendship we have. At our mutual friend F's, if he is rushing around cleaning up because we arrive earlier than he expected, I help him. I run used cups full of water. I stack the newspapers that are thrown all over the lounge. It's what I do. Get over it!!
So yeah, I don't think I will be visiting his sister any more. Hated her on sight, really unimpressed now. Too petty and childish to bother with. I know I am harping on, but I cannot believe she lied. And that he believed her! He knows she is petty, and prone to - exaggeration.
4 days ago