Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Up & down................

Not my moods, thankfully. A week and a half on the anti-depressants, and those have stabilised nicely. Which is a huge relief, I like having my equilibrium back. What I really look forward to though, is the day when I can have it naturally, without the need for chemical assistance. And that day WILL come, no question. There are a few reasons for that;

While the drugs are working, and I am grateful for the balance, I don't like being dependent on a chemical. I take natural HRT, and I don't even like taking that!

Side effects - of course, these hace to be factored in. They aren't nice; dehydration (which is the last thing I need to cop), upset tummy (water repeats on me ffs!) and physical tiredness (nothing new there). The first and last I can deal with - drink more/sleep more - but the tummy thing is giving me the sh*ts - literally! I am living on Weetbix with rice milk, dry toast, or plain jasmine rice. On the upside of that, I will continue to lose weight.

Cost; while I can get the tablets on PBS for now, the $$$ are still going to add up.

Mental lasiness - I am finding I lack the motivation to stretch my brain (where normally I am looking for opportunities to do so) - which is OK for now, but what about when I start Uni next year?

Hopefully these - or at least some of them, will drop off as time passes. I experienced all of the above last time, but only for 3 or 4 days, and only when I went to the stronger dosage. Maybe because last time, I was in such a deep, dark place that they couldn't drag me out.

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