because tomorrow we have to have one of our dogs put to sleep. He is old, and sick.
He came home one rainy night with Mr17-at-the-time (now Mr24), he had been rescued. The people who had him mis-treated him horribly, and for quite a while, he was snappy and unpredictable.
As time wore on though, his sweet, happy nature shone through, and he settled into our family. Even now, as old and sick as he is, he is still generally a happy boy. Except when the pain is too much, but even then he tries.
My mum keeps telling me not to feel too sad, we gave him a good life, and definitely extended it beyond what he could have expected had he been left where he was. But it doesn't help much. Neither does knowing that this is the right thing to do, he is in pain a lot of the time - it's cruel to keep him like that.
Mr14 will be accompanying us, and will no doubt hold me up - I have no doubt that I will fall apart - as necessary as this step is, it still hurts.
I will miss my Rexy.