Friday, February 26, 2010

And once again...............

........... I am in the land of the rejected.

I went for my interview today, and while it went well, I am not overly surprised that I so far haven't gotten the promised call.

The reason, I suspect, is that I have too much experience to qualify for a traineeship. I've been in hospitality a long time, and the employer wasn't sure if I would fit the traineeship guidelines.

Something WILL come up, I have hit a few places for NRM, and have a couple more to try. We shall see..

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Interview Friday!!

Woot!! How cool is THAT!?!

I saw a retail traineeship in a local cafe (I had no idea which) in Saturday's paper. I tossed up whether to ring or not, and decided not.

Sunday morning, I made the call. I need a job, and I need it now.

I just heard back - I have an interview Friday, and if that goes well, I will get a trial next week.

I have worked in cafes before, so I should do ok.

On the other, less 'YAY!" hand, I was kind of looking forward to a few weeks off.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

First Day at UTAS, a Sick Teen, and the Job Front

Today was my first day as a Uni student and I had a blast. There wasn't an actual lecture, more an intro to the unit, what it's about, how it will be assessed, so on and so forth.

The class is incredibly diverse. We are from all walks of life, age brackets, and many industries. One thing we are all looking for is a change, be it in our lifestyles, or our environment. Or both.

I had to get The Mister to come rescue me - the bus timetable I was given was waaaaaaaaaaaaay out - I would have been stuck in a closed-down town for another 90 minutes if he hadn't offered to come get me.

We are getting along better now - I think I have finally worked out what my issue is. Aside from feeling frustrated that I was/am standing still in terms of personal development, I have been 'off' for the past 3 months or so (according to him).

That timeframe coincides with the time I started to think the anti-depressants weren't doing what they were meant to do, that they were in fact inhibiting my getting 'balanced'. I have now weaned off them, but had not as yet gotten back onto my HRT (the 2 together was not pretty). So today I picked up the HRT, and I am hoping that will help get me sorted. I tend to get emotional and argumentative, with NFI what I am arguing about, when my hormones are off.

Mr14 is home with raging tonsilitis - he even has a doctor's certificate for the entire week! Poor man is so run down, he is asleep at present, snoring his poor noggin off.

Now, to the job-quitting thing. I am glad I did it. It feels right. Obviously finances are going to be super-tight, but I am confident that I should be able to find other employment. The job market here is super-tight at present, even worse than normal.

I'm not going into details here - I don't think that is necessary. Suffice to say that a line was crossed, one that I will NOT tolerate anyone crossing. I don't care who it is, I will not wear that sort of nonsense.

I have an vague plan to hit up employers in my area of interest for my degree, as I have access to funding through the Federal Government to pay a 'wage' to me for the entire year, and they get to have access to my brain, voice, arms and legs for 12 weeks (or the equivalent) a year for the time it takes me to get my degree.

Monday, February 22, 2010

I quit..............

......... my job on Saturday night.

Yesterday I felt hollow. Today, I feel damn good. I did the right thing, for the right reasons.

So, now what?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Moving Day

Yep, today is the day The Young Couple make their move. They are off to the State capital for Uni, he is studying Law, she is studying Beahvioral Psychology.

It's been a stressful few days here - they got home last Friday after a week of househunting, having found 2 flats to apply for - there was another in their price range, but it was (to quote Mr20) 'too scungy for words'. Until lunchtime on Monday, they were going to be staying with her uncle, and then the call came - they had a place of their own. All hands on deck!!

We are currently consolidating and loading, and what a job it is! The Mister (who struggles to drive more than 15 minutes) is going to be chauffering a Tarago load of stuff, with Mr14 for company.

Off to offer more muscle - and re-pack the stuff that a cerain he-man Neanderthal is buggering up - he wanted to put a $1000 computer just on the bare base ofhte trailer for a 5 hour trip over shite toads.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Orientation, and *ahem* more shopping............

I had a BLAST at orientation today - the campus is tiny (smaller than even the tiny primary school up the road), has a rural feel (love it) and everyone (staff and students) was friendly and helpful. Fabulous! And there was free beer at the bbq lunch (also free).

I had THE best time (not that you would ever guess). It sounds like I am going to be working hard, but that is good - I certainly don't expect to just cruise on through Uni.

I start classes next Tuesday - I am only doing 2 units this semester, to ease my way in.

So excited!!!

Now, to the elephant in the blog - shopping. I didn't plan it. Not even remotely. I walked from the Uni campus into town, through a beautiful park, and along the ocean. It was hot. By the time I got into town, I was a tad dehydrated, and fried.

The bus-stop was over-run by feral teenagers, so I thought I'd take a quick lap around the block to pass the time. I survived Chemist Warehouse and Priceline without dropping any money - but that is sure to change.

I saw the op shop, thought "Nah!" and was walking past when I spotted someone coming out of a shop further down who I really do not like, and certainly did not want to talk to, and so I ducked through the door.

And then I saw it - a purple shirt. Actually, several purple shirts. All new with the tags still attached, and 1 in my size. So I bought it. I saved $24 on it, original price being $27 (Kmart brand shirt). I was pleased.

And then I got on the bus, and endured an hour of feral teenagers. Which was more than enough penance for falling off the wagon.

Next week, I will do an hour at the Uni gym, as well as endure an hour of feral teens, for the shopping I am going to do before my lecture.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Fairy Tales and Faerie Tales

Are not the same thing - not by a long stretch. And yet, they are often confused.

Walt Disney was Fairy Tales, happy stories, although often with a tiny bit of the dark left in. Faerie Tales, of the Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Andersen variety, were scary as all get out, and meant to be that way.

One purpose of the original tales was to scare children into being good. Hansel and Gretel was not meant to show that good triumphs over evil, as it does now. Rather, it was meant to illustrate to children the dangers of not heeding their elders. Other fairy tales were politically motivated. Others were inspired by stories, or events, experienced by their authors.
For instance, The Ruby Slippers tells of the price paid by those who are vain, and what they may gain by repenting of their vanity.

And then there are the Fae themselves - those inhabitants of the World of Faerie. Skim a book on mythology, and you will find, not the sweet, cute, goodhearted Tinkerbell, or the pretty, sweet, human-with-wings fairy of 50's English childrens literature, but Puck, the Faerie King and his Queen. Not evil per se, but not human, and while human in appearance, not possessed of human emotions.

The Fae didn't care for humans, one way or the other - except for amusement value - Puck in particular was known for his pranks. Now, they are our friends and allies. Always, they are there to assist us. Mythology shows that, like the ancient Gods, they could and would help or hinder humans at their whim (the Lady of the Lake in the Camelot stories springs to mind).

Is this change a bad thing? Not really. I like the softer version of the tales for very young children. For myself, I have always preferred the darker versions (hence my absolute obsession with Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland - a match made in Heaven). As a for instance, I have included a plot summary (filched from Wikipedia), of Andersen's The Ruby Slippers. Because it gave me nightmares as a child, and yet, I loved it anyway.

A peasant girl named Karen is adopted by a rich old lady after her mother's death, and grows up vain. She tricks her adoptive mother into buying her a pair of ruby slippers and repeatedly wears them to church, without paying attention to the service. Her adoptive mother becomes ill, and Karen deserts her, preferring to attend a party in her ruby slippers.

Once Karen begins dancing, she can't stop, the shoes take over. She cannot control them and they are stuck to her feet. The shoes continue to dance, through fields and meadows, rain or shine, night and day. She can't attend her adoptive mother's funeral. An angel appears to her, condemning her to dance even after she dies, as a warning to vain children everywhere.

Karen finds an executioner and asks him to chop off her feet. He does so and gives her a pair of wooden feet and crutches. Thinking that she has suffered enough for the ruby slippers Karen decides to go to church in order for the people to see her, but the chopped-off feet dance before her, barring the way.

The following Sunday she tries again, thinking of herself at least as good as the others in church, but again the dancing shoes bar the way. Karen gets a job as a maid in the parsonage, but when Sunday comes she dares not go to church. Instead she sits alone at home and prays to God. Then, it is as though the church comes home to her and her heart becomes so filled with sunshine, peace, and joy that it bursts. Her soul flies on sunshine to heaven, and no one there asks her about the ruby slippers.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Oops! I did it again...............

......... I bought more op-shop treasures. And badly exceeded my caffiene intake levels for the day.

It really wasn't my fault. Honest. The Mister saw a Rivers ad for cheap slip-on shoes, of the variety he wears. I had a haircut appointment at 8.30 (set before ANYTHING opens for a reason). So my plan was;

Haircut
Coffee (to go)
Get outta Dodge

That changed rather dramatically. By the time I got to Rivers, found the shoes, picked the least ugly colour (the shoes are NOT attractive), and got through the checkout, it was after 10. So, why not have a quick squizz before heading home.

First stop was the 'posh' op shop. A lot of their clothing is from outlets, if they can't sell it, it comes here. Nothing inspiring. Good start.

Headed to the non-Paris section of down-town, on the hill. A quick look in the window promised no treasures, but still, intrepid shopper I am, I went in. And ended up in the change room with 7 things. Of which I bought 6. For $25.

1 skirt - a light brown, which swirls nicely. I needed another skirt like I need a hole in the head, but it was too awesome to leave.

1 pale blue with white pin stripes zip-up shirt. A blue that doesn't wash me out is always good.

A pair of 'dressy' shorts. I have no idea why - I am not a shorts kind of girl.

A black tunic-type top, makes me look slim. No way in Hell was I leaving THAT!

A grey top with a black bow at the neckline. I didn't think I'd like that on, but took it anyway. And it looked good. So I bought it.

A long-sleeved shirt with black thread sewn through in stripes. Very good fabric, and very me.

I will post pics at some stage, of my hauls - hopefully over the weekend. And then, in a couple of weeks, I hit Hobart! Oh, imagine the treasures I could find there!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Thanks to Andrea..............

....... I decided to brave the local op-shops. We have 5 here. 1 I won't go to without The Mister (so won't get there this week) and the other 4 are in town. So far I have hit 2.

I did quite well - in amongst the "What in Hades?!" I found some good stuff. Actually, I found a lot of good stuff, just most of it not in my size. So far today I have acquired;

2 skirts - 1 needs the waistband elastic re-stitching - I can do that - $1.50 each
Pair of Rockmans wool pants - 50cents - need taking up - I can do that
Kmart brand shirt - very good quality $1
2 brand new blouses - utterly stunning - $5 each

I plan to head back out this afternoon to hit the other 2 shops. When the op-shopping Gods smile, you make the most of it, even if the day is a stinker, and you feel lousy.

I have deleted all the clothes from my eBay watchlist - I have now gotten sufficent clothing to hold the 'robe for a while.

Oh, and if you are wondering who Andrea is, she ha an amazing sense of style, and a gorgeous blog.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Why So Angry?

Is a question I have heard a bit the past week from people who know me outside of this blog, after they read a few posts. And, reading the past weeks posts, I can see why they would ask that.

I am a lot less tolerant than I used to be. My patience is limited.

There are myriad reasons for this, but the main one is that I have changed, since the beginning of the court battle that still threatens to tear my family apart, even though it has now been over for 18 months.

I'm not going to re-hash all of that. If you want to know about it, you can find the original post here. That's not the entire thing by any means (I'd need several blogs to cover it all) but you get the gist.

At my core I am still the same person I was, a bit more battle-scarred, but essentially the same. The shift has come in my point of view - things I once brushed off as irrelevant, or not worth the effort of getting upset over, now have the potential to irk the life out of me.

This shift has come about as a result of all the bulldust involved with that case. I have grown exceedingly intolerant of those who make sweeping generalisations, or assumptions based on the vocal minorities behaviour; as well as those who use others for political gain.

What I really want is those who insist on political correctness at all times to step back Goddammit! In recent years my ancestry has started to mean more to me - I never really bothered announcing it to the world before. I am starting to think doing so was a bad idea, people react so differently, and not in a good way.

That makes me sad and angry. The rhetoric people see in the media colours their perception (and no surprise). I don't care, I really do not, if you refer to Stout as 'black' beer. That's what colour it is. Draught is amber, and Light is pale amber. And if someone else takes offence at that - tell them to mind their own.

And firebreaks - they need to be a good 300-800 metres - not a piddling 50m. A fire isn't going to even pause at that. But because there is an element in our society that places trees above humans, we sit in a tinderbox.

I want recreational fishermen to be able to 'catch and release' mako sharks. Those things are tough. They generally survive being caught and released. Trawlers and drag lines make more of a mess of the shark population than recreational fishermen do. Actually, commercial fishing makes more of a mess in every way. Does anyone want to discuss Japan's 'scientific' whaling, where the 'un-scientific' bits of whale end up on the dinner table at exorbitant prices?

So yeah, that would be my biggest issue with the world at the moment - politicians either hiding their head in the sand (hello Devonport - town of the YouTube video of an organised street brawl - which the Mayor and the local police say isn't indicative of how this place is. Never mind that a local pub shut it's doors early this week to avoid a violent brawl breaking out - a crowd of 20-30 people lurking in the carpark 'hunting'), being a hypocritical power-hungry yes-man (PG, I'm looking at you) or politicians deciding what I want/think/feel, and then using it to present their own point of view. DO NOT TELL ME WHAT I THINK OR FEEL!!! And especially don't decide these things for me, and then tell me that's how it is, especially in the media. Guaranteed to tick me off. And stop sprouting on TV about how wrong this that or the other is, and then turn around and refuse to do anything to change it.

So there you have it, the reasons (or at least some) of why I have been so angry of late. The local paper has been full of stories about how bad this town is becoming, and politicians saying "No it's not."; the Federal Government telling people that they can't catch a fish and then release it, but supporting Japan by their silence, and Aboriginal activists ranting on about how the Anglo population destroyed this that and the other (not saying that it wasn't the case on the mainland, but it certainly wasn't here), and no-one daring to stand up. I did. My letter didn't get printed.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Update on my brother

Seems that he has something physically wrong. Blood clots in his lungs. It also turns out that he has been experiencing chest pain on and off for about a month, but hasn't seen a doctor.

Not impressed. I am not a callous cow. Not only are there a LOT of deep-seated family issues here, but my tolerance for this kind of nonsense has dropped to the point of almost non-existent in the past 6 years.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The One Where I Got a Black Eye

Yes, I have a shiner - quite a good one. But it could have been worse, this has been coming for a while.

The whole sorry mess started many, many years ago. The legal bs and associated feelings/issues exacerbated it. And tonight, it finally broke.

The Mister and Mr14 have long had issues - mainly because they have a personality clash. Add in feelings of abandonment and resentment (Mr14) and frustration (The Mister) and you have a volatile mix. Not to mention, in a lot of ways, The Mister has the same level of maturity as Mr14.

I am perpetually in the middle with these 2, either refereeing or translating. My entire life is spent on a knife-edge.

I am hopeful that today's incident will finally put an end to it. I *think* they heard me when, post-shiner, I told them that they needed to sort their shit out, because they are destroying me with the constant tension and aggro. I hope they did. They are at least talking, and have agreed to be more aware of each other's moods, and how 1 may take something the other says as a 'go'. And to spend time working in their relationship, without me in the middle.

My getting hurt was inevitable, really. It was only a matter of time before they were going to try to kill each other, and I would be in the middle. Thankfully, Mr20 was here today, because Mr14 REALLY lost the plot. He wasn't here mentally - he has no recollection of large parts of the afternoon.

This is not a surprise to me - I had the same issue when I was younger, as did my brother P, sudden (as in, fine 1 second, then BAM!), over-reactionary rages, often violent, of which there is no memory. They end just as suddenly as they start, and the trigger is often something tiny, and utterly ridiculous in terms of the damage that ends up being done. My uncle J suffered from them. He and Pop weren't on speaking terms when Pop died, because once, when they had a stoush, Nan got physically hurt. What made it worse for Pop was that the whole sorry mess came from his side of the family. His brother J suffered similarly.

These 'rage blackouts' are a form of autism (or so the doctors told me years ago) and there's not a lot they can do for it. Counselling is suggested, and watch for trigger points. Hah!

So now we wait. And pray. I keep hoping that The Mister will open his goddamn eyes, and see that Mr14 has major issues - and I am forever telling him that - but he never hears me. Maybe now he will. I hope so.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Breathe...................

.......... count backwards from 100, take another deep breath, and then see how you feel.

If you still feel like you want to explode, go slam a door or two. Maybe that will help.

Today was one of those - I spent the entire day convinced that it is Tuesday. And then we lost the phone line at work intermittently, the Keno froze, and wouldn't unfreeze.

And now, I get home to find that my brother has been taken to hospital with severe chest pain. I am waiting to hear further. I expect it to be nothing, as the vast majority of his issues are mental. For which he refuses to seek treatment. And worries our mother constantly with his whining about how sick he is, and refusing to see doctors.

ETA@10.30p.m. Spoke to Mum, sounds like a major panic attack. Maybe the doctors at the hospital have more power than the GP's, psychologists and psychiatrists he has seen down the years, to actually MAKE him seek treatment.

The Art of Spin

No, not DJ'ing, politics. Which, for the record, I disucss/rant about only when something has gotten me good and mad. That is happening a bit lately (you may have noticed) because I am finding, as I creep back into the light, that things out here haven't changed for the better in the last 5 years. Not in any real way.

So - the art of spin. Now, I appreciate that being a good spin doctor would take a lot of hard work, I do. I think what they do must be damn stressful, and rather scary. But, I don't like the end result.

Take last night as a f'rinstance. Watching the news (a rare occurance) and the Federal Government was telling us (in light of the RBA not raising home loan interest rates - no news on what the Big 4 will do as yet) how well off we are - we have an Unemployment Rate of ONLY 10%. Which means, out of every 10 people, ONLY one is unemployed. We are indeed the Lucky Country. Our economy is booming, unemployment is low, and we have the biggest houses in the world. Mind you, we also have soaring homelessness, drugs and alcohol are decimating our youth, racism runs rampant, and the Big 4 raising interest rates whenever and however they want.

Are you mad yet? No? Well that's ok, I am mad enough for everyone. Oh, I am so mad.

You see, the numbers are telling a big fat lie. No matter which party is in power, the Unemployment Figures lie. Because they are meant to.

The figures the talking heads sprout are the Official Rate - those listed as being on Newstart Allowance. Not anyone on either form of Youth Allowance (studying or looking for work, or, Heaven forbid, both). Not stay at home parents being forced out into the workforce by rising mortgages/living costs. Not those same parents being forced out into an (unwelcoming) workplace with no jobs to be had because their child has turned 7, and it's time they were being productive.

And certainly not those who have, for whatever reason, given up. There are a lot of people out there, and the number is growing every day, who simply turn their back on modern society, and enter the shadows. And then they become invisible to everyone - from you and me, to the country's leaders. Especially the leaders. Must be nice to live and work in an Ivory Tower.

And that makes me angry. Our politicos sprout on about the value of human life when refugees are seeking asylum, and need to be integrated into Australian society (oh, and they don't count in the UR either), but when it comes to looking after the people who aren't worth any points politically, not a peep.

And yes, I am one of the non-statistics. We lost our home 9 years ago, because we had been financially crippled by previous rate rises. I am on a Carer Pension, The Mister is on Disability. We cannot live even remotely comfortably on the payments the Government gives us, so I have to work. On Government money, we would survive. Just.

So, to the Spin Doctors I say "Come on down here, with the not even .01%ers. See how it is to live when you don't even rate a brain fart in a politicians mind. When you have to worry about whether or not the money you have scraped together will be enough to feed your family until the next time you recieve your pittance."

But do not tell me that I am lucky, that my country is doing well. I have been walking through a dark wilderness for 5 years, and what I see as I look around me now, is actually scarier than the deepest depths of the dark.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Shed reclaimed, and some fab finds.

The dog and I have reclaimed the shed! It took us 6 long, hot, dusty hours of hefting stuff around, sorting stuff out and tossing it, but we got there in the end.

We found a lot of rubbish - a LOT. Like 3 ute-loads. But we found some treasures too.

Not the least being the gorgeous hand-tooled leather bag that will be winging it's way to Andrea very soon. It was a gift to my Aunty Dawn from my Uncle Tom, back in the early days of their relationship. I wanted it to have a loving home, and as Andrea has amazing vintage style, I hoped she would agree to take it on. And she did. I am very happy, and Dawn and Tom would approve.

I also found some retro sheets - 1 set are truly scary, I cannot get over them, they will be dog bedding. This is them:



And this:


Currently doing time as a tablecloth. I cannot use it as a sheet, but as a tablecloth it rocks.

These bedspreads were mine and my sisters - mine is the aqua one, hers is the yellow.



I am completely in love with this fabric, so pretty.



I have no practical use for it, but I am keeping it - because it is pretty - all 4 pillowcases and 1 sheet of it. I can probably incorporate the pillowcases into my bedroom.

This fabric is amazing quality - the 'weight' of it is incredible. Another one I will be keeping for the pattern.



These curtains are hand made - and old. And the property of Mr20 by his decree. I was going to keep them anyway - and then he claimed them. They need new backing - but being older than I am, that's no surprise. Another amazing piece of fabric - the quality is fantastic! I think of it as fairyland fabric........



This blanket belonged to Aunty Dawn - and now it is Mr20's also. Another "Mum, you are NOT getting rid of that" item. As if I was getting rid of it! Miss18 wasn't so sure, until she felt it, and then she fell in love.



I also 'found' Glossy's stuff from America. I had it in the room I was sleeping in when I got home, and then the Little Family moved out, and it got a bit - lost. I found it today, in the big cupboard cleanout (I got inspired). It was hiding in the linen cupboard. How it got there I do not know, but I have made a deal with myself - it MUST be sent before I go to Uni - poor Glossy has been waiting forever.