So, today I had a meltdown. In public. In the post office.
I had a panic attack. To the point where I couldn't move away from the counter - no matter how badly I wanted to get out of there - and trust me, I wanted out bad. I was sweating like a loon (it was running in rivers down my face), my heart was racing, and I could feel the panic racing around my system, and I couldn't freaking move!!
Fortunately for me, the guy who had been serving me has known me for years, so when I said "Call my husband." he simply picked up my mobile, got the number out, and rang The Mister, who talked me down, and got me out of there.
I went to the doctor immediately. I got in right away. I have been informed that I have an anxiety disorder, and panic attacks - ya think?!
I am on a low dose anti-depressant, to help ease the anxiety, and something-or-other to help me sleep (what is sleep?). I go back tomorrow afternoon to get a referral to a psychologist, which will take about 8 weeks to get moving.
I feel a bit better - like I am moving forward. I actually was feeling really good today, until the freeze-up. It was raining when I woke, and my first thought was "It's raining, I don't have to go into town if it's raining." But I did, I got up and went. BIG deal.
Hopefully, things will improve. If I can get the anxiety under control, maybe I will be able to study properly, and even go grocery shopping without writing off 2 whole days due to being sick and jittery.