Wednesday, April 7, 2010

On the Road Back....

So, today I had a meltdown. In public. In the post office.

I had a panic attack.  To the point where I couldn't move away from the counter - no matter how badly I wanted to get out of there - and trust me, I wanted out bad.  I was sweating like a loon (it was running in rivers down my face), my heart was racing, and I could feel the panic racing around my system, and I couldn't freaking move!!

Fortunately for me, the guy who had been serving me has known me for years, so when I said "Call my husband." he simply picked up my mobile, got the number out, and rang The Mister, who talked me down, and got me out of there.

I went to the doctor immediately.  I got in right away.  I have been informed that I have an anxiety disorder, and panic attacks - ya think?!

I am on a low dose anti-depressant, to help ease the anxiety, and something-or-other to help me sleep (what is sleep?).  I go back tomorrow afternoon to get a referral to a psychologist, which will take about 8 weeks to get moving.

I feel a bit better - like I am moving forward.  I actually was feeling really good today, until the freeze-up.  It was raining when I woke, and my first thought was "It's raining, I don't have to go into town if it's raining."  But I did, I got up and went. BIG deal.

Hopefully, things will improve.  If I can get the anxiety under control, maybe I will be able to study properly, and even go grocery shopping without writing off 2 whole days due to being sick and jittery.


  1. Oh Rosie, your poor thing...I hope you're feeling better now. Were you on the meds before this happened, and if so, being a low dose, did the doc increase it?

  2. Hi Gig, no, I wasn't on anything. The meds are a holding measure.

    Mr14 has been less violent of late, which the doc thinks has probably had the opposite effect of what one would expect. Instead of getting better as the pressure eased, I got worse. But then, I am a contrarian.

    Thanks for your wishes, you may rest assured I am going to get past this. I have plans, BIG plans. I have given a lot of myself to other people down the years, now it's time for me.

    Besides, you would all be horribly bored without me.........

  3. Glad to hear there's people to help you through, Rosie, but what an inconvenience for you suffering this way. Not sleeping doesn't help. I've had my own bouts of sleeplessness over the years - very frustrating. Hell, actually. Hope you get on top of it all soon. I think that's one good thing the govt is doing at present, making it less expensive for people to visit a psychologist or mental health worker through Medicare funding. Recognising that mental health issues are as important as getting teeth fixed or any other health concern a person may face.

  4. Rosie, what an awful thing to happen. I can't imagine how scary it must have been for you. I've been known to start falling apart if things get better after a time of crisis. Strange reaction isn't it?
    Sometimes our body knows that you have to slow down before the brain catches up.

  5. OMG Rosie! I'm sending you big hugs. I'm always here if you need to chat.

    I'm glad that you are getting help and I hope that you start to feel better soon xxx

  6. Rosie, my thoughts are with you.

    Always Bumby

  7. Oh Rosie, I've been there, it sucks ... but you;re on the right track ... low dose antid, some benzo to get you through the attacks and psych, psych, psych .... can I recommend you find a psych that does Psychotherapy rather than CBT ... thinking of you xx