I find myself in a situation on which everyone in the above area(s) has an opinion - after the fact - as to what action I should have taken. And it pisses me off no end. When I was scrambling around, crying out for help, did any one of you put your hand up and offer to assist? No.
What makes this particularly irritating is that I am not referring to individuals here - far from it. Individuals offered what support and help they could, and for that I thank them.
The situation I am referring to has been ongoing for some time, I have sought help from every possible place I could, and every time it was 'Sorry, but no.' Now, after things got to the point where I could take no more, and I took action, they are full of advice.
I tried everything, and everyone - even those who, as I tried, I knew had no place in the battle. Interestingly, those were the places I got the most help - they could do nothing for me, under their job description, but they tried, Lord knows, they tried.
And now, after I reached the end of my tolerance, and I took decisive action, they are all over me, about why I did this, or why I didn't do that. Because I couldn't!! I tried everything I could, I rang everyone I could, I talked to people until they were sick of hearing from me, and I got nowhere.
The only thing I didn't do, was the thing that would have gotten me to this point a lot faster. Had I done that, help would have been faster in coming, but I would have been devastated by the action. We suffered for longer because of my failure to take that step, but I stand by my decision to keep fighting. I tried, until there was no other option, and even then, the steps I took were taken with a heavy heart, and only as a last resort, when my destruction was imminent.
So, to those who were hurt by my failure to act, I apologise. I did what I did because I saw no choice that I could live with. I hope one day you understand that.
2 days ago